I feel my soul evolving. Something happened to me after the Sunday that the Pastor talked about hell and the lack of evidence thereof. My whole life christianity has been nothing but a huge act of coercion resulting in fear and co-dependence. Hanging on for dear life because I was scared. But then something happened. . . I was no longer afraid. What now?
Now nothing speaks to me. The montra is dead to me. The terms are no longer valid. I feel like I am in a familiar town where all the of shops have closed down and the familiar faces have moved away.
I have found a new way to feed my soul. My study of the Tarot has brought me great sense of empowerment and surprisingly has wisdom tied to biblical history. My new journey leads me to the Kabbalah.
The way that I figure out what my truth is I go into a room all by myself and I make a statement to myself. If I can say it, then it is true. If I can’t say it then it isn’t the truth. . . I never have been able to lie to myself out loud.
I can no longer sit in that room and say that I am a Christian. . .
Hi! I am Jenaya. Welcome to my new blog. It is dedicated to my personal reflections regarding inner spiritual awakenings.
One of my tools of introspection is the Tarot. My journey began about two years ago. I was in desperate need of a way to build my spirit and even more desperate to figure out a way to trust myself to make my own decisions. I had been co-dependent. The first thing I would think when I faced a difficult decision would be, “who can I call to ask what to do about this?”.
Some how I began to research the Tarot. I think I was looking for some one to do a reading for me, but then I am always trying to figure out how to do something for myself if I can and finally I applied this attitude to my decision making.
My first deck was an Oracle deck actually. It is ~The Enchanted Map~ by Collette Baron-Reid. I followed the directions for the spread and did my own reading. I interpreted the message and then something happened… I realized what I needed to do… and I figured it out on my own through the law of attraction. My subconscious spoke to me through the cards and I figured it out. I made my own decision! I felt Empowered!
Some time after I decided to get myself a Rider-Waite 78 card deck. The deck didn’t speak to me though and it just sat there. Then I looked for another oracle deck. I had questions about motherhood and wanted something specifically for those reflections. The Map deck is for where I am going personally.
This is when I found ~The Mothers Wisdom Deck~. Beautiful wisdom and art helped me to reflect as a mother.
Finally I decided to look for a 78 card deck that reflected interracial art. The traditional photos that only depict European faces really doesn’t reflect the world as it looks to me. Plus, I am mixed race! So I found my current and favorite deck, ~ sun and moon tarot~. I am drawn into the deck wanting to study them every day and my confidence has increased now.
I reference ~The Tarot~ written by Paul Foster Case. I am also about to begin coloring my own deck. I will post the photos and explanations of each major trump starting within the next 72 hours.
Thank you for reading my blog. My personal purpose within the world of Tarot is to show others their own personal inner power thereby eliminating the need to be controlled by peoples and systems. You were born with all that you need. The great I AM is inside you. You only need to tap into it.