I feel my soul evolving. Something happened to me after the Sunday that the Pastor talked about hell and the lack of evidence thereof. My whole life christianity has been nothing but a huge act of coercion resulting in fear and co-dependence. Hanging on for dear life because I was scared. But then something happened. . . I was no longer afraid. What now?
Now nothing speaks to me. The montra is dead to me. The terms are no longer valid. I feel like I am in a familiar town where all the of shops have closed down and the familiar faces have moved away.
I have found a new way to feed my soul. My study of the Tarot has brought me great sense of empowerment and surprisingly has wisdom tied to biblical history. My new journey leads me to the Kabbalah.
The way that I figure out what my truth is I go into a room all by myself and I make a statement to myself. If I can say it, then it is true. If I can’t say it then it isn’t the truth. . . I never have been able to lie to myself out loud.
I can no longer sit in that room and say that I am a Christian. . .