A Lamentation

I wrote this from a different viewpoint in Christianity. The context in which individuals view God as a ruler on high and we are helpless and small. The rescuer and the victim. The father and the child perspective. This is not necessarily the perspective from which I see the source of our being generally, but this is a real human experience/emotion. So here it is

A Mothers Lament

How could you, oh lord, how could you
How could you let my child burn?
As a parent I try to understand you oh lord, up until now it has been the only way I knew how
But the day you let my baby girl experience one the most feared physical pains known to men until her untimely death I did not understand you at all

How could you, oh lord, how could you?
How could you let my child be raped?
Oh yee who sees all things, hears all things, and is always everywhere
How could you know it is coming, listen to it happening, and witness my child’s innocence stolen?

How could you oh lord, how could you?
How could you let my child see his father beaten to death?
That horrific event seared into his memory for the rest of his life as his father, engaged in a power struggle, is overcome and his pride stolen, why?

How could you oh lord, how could you
What is omniscience for, if not to know what your children need?
What is omnipotence for, if not to rescue the weak?
What is omnipresence for, if not to be there for the innocent?
I hate this about you oh lord, I do!
With every ability to act you do not save my children

Why lord, why?
After allowing my children to be burned, violated, and demoralized, will you then open your gates and comfort them?
I do not understand lord, I do not understand why I cannot protect my babies, and you just plain don’t

Give your power to the mothers of the world so that they may fulfill their desire to protect their babies!
So that we may have a song of victory lord, instead of a lament
So that we no longer have to cry out to you after our children have already been burned, violated, and demoralized
So that we no longer have to ask you why

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Re~birthing Process

So I am making connections again with my Christianity. Coming into the realization that just like anything else, not everyone is going to agree with how you go about things. It just has to be authentic inside. I am working on a piece about religious tolerance. When it is ready I will post it. I am excited about it so I can’t wait to finish but it needs to be right 🙂 So for now, here is a little prayer to kick off a new point in my life where I am feeling more validated about my own beliefs. . .

 

A prayer

Source of my being, hear me the way that I know that you will. I know that you have given me everything that I need to live this life. . . but right now I feel like it is all gone. I love and then I hate. I am smart and then I am stupid. I am clear and then I am confused. I am creative and then I am empty. In my silence oh creator, please feel me in what I feel. Be where I am and understand me. Please show me where to find what you gave me to handle this hard life, I know it is there, but I forget where I put it while I am doing all of these things that distract me from my truth. Please help me find my clarity again. Please help me find my creativity, my intelligence, and my love. Please help me to care for those who need my care. Please help me to protect those who need my protection. Please help me to complete the work I need to complete. And please God, be with my babies especially in those times that they feel like they don’t have any gifts or can’t find what you gave them. And please make real that protective bubble that I visualize around them each day to protect them from the world and those evil things that might misplace them. And source; help me to feel you inside me so that in respect for you I might respect myself and those who are in my presence. Continue to seek me out the way that you always have. Continue to allow me to feel you with me as I always have.

Honesty and Connection

You know who