She got to you first

Have you ever met a great guy being done wrong by another girl. You respectfully stand by and watch while she ruins everything you wish that was yours and you can say nothing because he would never see you the way that you want him to unless he makes the conclusion himself?


She got to you before I did


You are gentle and sweet

I am tender and soft

She got to your first

You went from gentle to rough

You went from sweet to tart

I noticed your true self, but by then your walls were up

Now all you see is she

Even though it is me that stands here

She got to you first


You are loving and responsible

I have treasures that need guarding

She got to you first

You went from loving to afraid

You went from responsible to indifferent

I noticed your true self, but by then your walls were up

Now all you see is she

Even though it is me that stands here

She got to you first


Why is life so cruel?

My heart searched for you

My soul yearned for you

And now your soul is lost

She ripped out your eyes

Just before I arrived to be seen. . .


Now I have to decide

Do I try to restore your site?

Or do I count you a loss?

My chance once again stayed .

Postponed, by that putrid she devil


The Girl With the Beautiful Smile

There is a girl who sits next to me, she has a beautiful smile

Even in spite of a tremendous trauma, she has a beautiful smile

An anonymous attacker violated her, and still she has a beautiful smile

She smiles and laughs with pretty bright whites, such a beautiful smile

I can’t help but to wonder what goes on, behind that beautiful smile

Does she hurt, does she cry, does she struggle, and does she fight, behind that beautiful smile?

That pretty girl reminds me of me, but her smile is much better practiced

My pain does not hide so well behind a beautiful smile

In fact most some times ask me where it is that I have hidden, my beautiful smile

I often am offended when it is requested that I show my beautiful smile

And yet this girl who sits next to me in spite of her pain does not need to be asked to show her beautiful smile

She means something deep to me with her cheerful laughter and a persistently shining smile

I see fortitude, strength, love, and purity within her beautiful smile

All those characters say to me, they would like to be more obviously me, within my beautiful smile

So the girl who sits next to me has inspired me with her beautiful smile

She has shown me that where hurt exists, good things fight on and purity can win, if you share your beautiful smile

Tolerance vs Acceptance

Religious tolerance. What does this mean? Does it mean that we tolerate other religions while practicing our own? Does it mean that we acknowledge to some degree that other religions have some truth? If so, does that detract from our own belief? Is there a way to do both? Is there a way to tolerate other religions by acknowledging that there is truth to all religious practices without taking away from our own? And what exactly do we mean by taking away from our own? Could that be a negative thing? Like pieces of a pie is truth dolled out to each religion? If you give a percentage of truth to one then you take that much away from the rest? Or can they all have an entire pie of their own? Perhaps the only thing we take away from our own belief system is the dogma. The dogged fight for the entire pie of truth that causes casualties . . . people pushing away from the table wanting no piece at all.

So what then is religious tolerance? When I think of the word tolerate a feeling of annoyed cooperation comes to mind. A sort of arrogance where you think, “well if I must”, and grit your teeth while deciding not to condemn the other to death for not believing in your God. But that is just me. Merriam Webster’s dictionary defines the word tolerance in a few ways including, “sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with ones own”, and “ the allowable deviation from a standard”. Some synonyms of the word indulgence include extravagance, immoderation, and permission to name a few. Is it really so extravagant to merely allow permission for others to practice their own religion? Religious tolerance is easy. After all it only requires you to mind your own business while the next guy minds his. So what is the big deal? What are we really striving for from our neighbor?

Lets look at another word; acceptance. The word “accept” is defined as, “to receive willingly”, “to regard as proper, normal, or inevitable”. Would you rather be tolerated or accepted? I would rather be accepted. So lets change the term we are talking about. Lets talk, religious acceptance. How do we strive for that? How do we get to the point where multiple different religious practices are regarded as proper, normal, and inevitable? At this point I am sure we all know it is inevitable. But have we arrived at proper and normal yet? Do we receive willingly the doctrines of those of different religious and spiritual upbringing? When you were a child could you picture your father allowing a Muslim to come to the dinner table, quote the Koran, bless the food, and commune with this man or woman? How about at a prayer to Allah at baseball game? Anyone? Me either. Once I picked up a Jehovah’s Witness pamphlet and I got a stern talking to. Now my family was very tolerant, but regarding the beliefs of others as proper and normal, not so much. . . . . . TBC

Believe them

So, I read a quote some where once and it said, “People are telling you who they are, BELIEVE THEM!” I must have seen it on Facebook or something. I thought it was pretty good. But I really felt it recently.

As I grow I become more aware of my emotional thought processes. I was dating a guy for about 7 weeks when things began to go south in the 8th week. First I thought, “why is he acting this way?” “Why is he trying to hurt me?” “How could he change so fast from sweet and charming to a complete polar bear?”

Then I remembered that 8 weeks wasn’t that long and the whole point of dating is to figure out who people are and this is just who he is? Then I went back and forth arguing with him. I noticed that I was just trying to give him a chance to say what I wanted him to say so that everything could go back to the way that it was. Then I realized, “he is telling you who he is with every action, every statement, every way that he does or does not respond to your cries, believe him!”

Ladies, if he ignores your feelings in the beginning, he will ignore them throughout your relationship. That is who he is. If he calls you out your name, then that is who he is. If he is emotionally distant and unavailable, that is who he is. If he puts his friends before you, then that is who he is.

Don’t be scared. You got this. I have to remind myself that there was a time that I was just fine before I met him and that I will be fine when he is gone. . . and voila, things are back to normal 🙂 Hey look, I never told you how long it takes to get to the voila stage ok. . . it could take a few days or weeks or months. But it will come and you will be fine.